Absolut fabulos

After awakening with a hangover, vain public relations agent Edina 'Eddie' Monsoon frantically prepares to launch a major fashion show. Meanwhile, her practical teenage daughter, Saffron—whom Edina had promised to quit drinking—constantly reprehends her mother's unhealthy habits. Edina's enabling best friend, Patricia 'Patsy' Stone, arrives to accompany her to work. At the office, Edina's hopelessly dimwitted personal assistant Bubble reports that one of the main models has dropped out.

Unable to fit into the majority of her clothes, Edina becomes determined to lose weight. At the office, she is horrified upon learning of an upcoming visit by Penny Caspar-Morse, a thin model that used to torment Edina about her weight. Edina unsuccessfully attempts to exercise, and with Penny arriving earlier than expected, she accepts Patsy's suggestion to undergo a liposuction.

Edina and Patsy holiday in France, where they find themselves staying in a rustic cottage, rather than the château they were expecting. There is no food or wine, and the duo are constantly disturbed by an old man whose French they cannot understand. They're later rescued by Saffy, who arrives with supplies, and Bubble, who tags along to deliver an urgent message concerning Edina's home decorating business, but she forgets about it.

Patsy helps Edina break in her new isolation tank upstairs, while Saffy works with classmates on a presentation for her sixth form college's open day. Edina, feeling useless after a newly dedicated and proficient Bubble hauls charge of the office, takes a sudden interest in her daughter's work and begs to be invited to the open day. Saffy vehemently refuses, so Edina spitefully threatens to adopt a Romanian orphan.

Edina is none too pleased about her fortieth birthday. As opposed to the glamourous, star-studded surprise party she had hoped for, Edina is disappointed to learn that Saffy has planned a quiet lunch with family and friends—including both of Edina's ex-husbands, Justin and Marshall, and their respective new lovers, Oliver and Bo, as well as Patsy and Mother.

Patsy, temporarily staying with the Monsoons, becomes jealous when Edina reconnects with an old boyfriend. During one of her infrequent appearances at work, Patsy is assigned to host a fashion makeover segment on a morning programme. After clashing with the models, Patsy persuades Saffy and Mother to appear in their place, telling a tale of her emotionally distant mother as psychological manipulation.

Patsy becomes the subject of a tabloid sex scandal following an affair with a married MP. Edina checks into a hospital for surgery after injuring her big toe. Patsy tags along, planning to undergo a chemical peel in preparation for her interview with Hello! magazine.

When Edina's father dies, a grief-stricken Saffy is horrified by her mother's apathy. However, once she realises her own mortality, Edina purchases expensive artwork, which she plans to leave behind when she dies. Marshall visits with his new grief-counsellor girlfriend, Sondra, who panics upon discovering that the corpse is to be placed in Edina's living room for the wake. Despite being banned by Saffy from attending the funeral, Edina shows up anyway, taking Patsy along.

Edina and Patsy travel to Marrakech for a photo shoot. They're accompanied by Saffy, who is interested in studying the local indigenous peoples. There, Edina and Patsy meet up with old friend Uncle Humphrey, who sexually harasses Saffy. At dinner, it's revealed that in the 1970s, Patsy spent a year living as a man until 'it fell off', according to Edina. The duo later go to the shoot location, but when no one shows up, they end up lost in the desert.

Edina frantically organises her cluttered house in order to host old friends Bettina and Max, who were once obsessed with minimalism. Feeling ignored by Edina, Patsy leaves in search of another lunch partner. When Bettina and Max arrive, Edina is disappointed to learn that they are now the hysterical, neurotic parents of a newborn. As the couple wreak havoc, Edina quickly leaves.

Edina discovers that both Marshall and Justin have cut off their alimony. After Saffy conspires with Edina's accountant, Edina is led to believe that she is poor, and reluctantly agrees to reduce her expenses. However, during a trip to the supermarket, she and Patsy fill three trolleys with groceries and steal a crate of champagne.

Patsy falls asleep with a lit cigarette, and accidentally burns down the Monsoons' kitchen. She and Edina later plan a night out, but they decide to stick around after learning that Saffy is expecting a date, much to her chagrin. To make matters worse, Mother inadvertently locks the trio in the living room on her way to the chemist's, forcing them into uncomfortable conversations about love, sex and motherhood.

Saffy grows impatient with Edina's unwillingness to have their kitchen remodelled after Patsy accidentally burnt it down. Edina's obsession with finding a particular door handle for the kitchen leads her and Patsy to New York City. After a shopping spree, Patsy persuades Edina to have her navel pierced.

As Edina and Patsy prepare to attend an underground New Year's Eve rave, they receive an unexpected visit from Patsy's estranged older sister Jackie. Patsy insists on bringing Jackie along, much to Edina's dismay. However, Patsy is disappointed to learn that Jackie is no longer the jet-setting, drug-addled party animal she used to be.

Patsy convinces Edina to hire two male prostitutes for an orgy on the night of Saffy's uni presentation. However, Edina is unable to loosen up, and the prostitutes are not particularly enthused, either. Patsy attempts to enliven the mood by playing a video of an orgy from their youth, only to find that it has been inadvertently switched with a tape of Saffy's school project.

Edina becomes frustrated when she loses a prestigious PR award to rival Claudia Bing, despite having bribed the judges. Worried about her dwindling career, Edina works on a campaign in hopes of upstaging Claudia. Meanwhile, Saffy becomes romantically involved with Gerard, her psychology lecturer, until she discovers that he is married with children.

Edina is left feeling helpless after Saffy leaves home to attend university. Patsy loses her job when Ella magazine folds; she later receives an offer to work with her colleague Magda at a New York magazine. Edina and Patsy commiserate drunkenly over old age and the sudden changes in their lives.

Edina joins a New Age commune, but struggles to fit in and quickly becomes bored. Patsy is disillusioned with her new job in New York due to creative differences with her colleagues. Saffy settles into uni life and Mother spends her days at the house, drinking and ordering from the shopping channel. After realising that their lives are not the same without each other, Edina and Patsy happily reunite on top of Carnegie Hall Tower before returning to London.

Edina, now overseeing a television production company, is slated to make a guest appearance with client Twiggy on Richard and Judy's morning television show. Patsy has been injecting Parralox, a Botox-like substance, in order to freeze her wrinkles. Edina is persuaded to try Parralox as well, but she awakens the next morning with a paralysed face. In addition to costing Saffy a government job, Edina is replaced by Katy Grin, her new business partner and Bubble's cousin, for the appearance.

When Saffy hires a handsome landscape gardener to redesign the backyard, Patsy recognises him as Jago Balfour, the younger brother of a wealthy acquaintance of hers, who inherited a country estate before dying of an overdose. Presuming Jago to be rich as well, Patsy goads Edina into seducing him.

Patsy is excited to be joining young supermodel Erin O'Connor for a magazine photo shoot in Paris. Edina and a reluctant Saffy come along for a mother–daughter spread. After learning that other models from her generation will also appear in the shoot, Patsy becomes competitive and constantly ignores the photographer's directions, much to his annoyance.

Edina enrolls in a boot-camp fitness programme and subjects herself to a strict diet, after being ridiculed for her weight by Katy, Catriona and Fleur. Meanwhile, Patsy briefly experiments with pulling back her signature fringe for the first time in decades, and budding playwright Saffy receives a visit from Taylor, a pretentious old schoolmate with acting aspirations.

Saffy's first play, Self-Raising Flower, a look at her troubled relationship with Edina, is due to open at a local theatre. Worried about being portrayed in a negative light, Edina unsuccessfully attempts to sabotage the play. As the rest of the family gather for the opening night, Saffy decides to invite Edina, who reluctantly attends with Patsy.

Bubble accidentally emails Edina's clients' details to Claudia Bing, who poaches most of Edina's clients, including Twiggy. Patsy—recently diagnosed with osteoporosis—and Edina are horrified when Saffy forces them to attend a Menopausals Anonymous meeting organised by her. In order to save her business, Edina dupes Claudia into buying her TV company—which currently has no programmes—while Claudia also agrees to return several high-profile clients.

Edina's home is a mess, and she has done some more remodelling as usual. The changes include a pool in her bathroom, and a shower that washes and buffs her like a car wash. New client Emma Bunton visits to discuss new jobs. It turns out Saffy was Emma's head girl at school and Emma knows that Saffy would be disturbed by Edina's squalid abode.

Edina has a nightmare about Saffy's baby trying to stab her. It turns out that the face of the nightmare baby belongs to Saffy's midwife, who delights in teasing Edina about these nightmares. Edina expresses her displeasure about this baby. Saffy invites the baby's father to the house to tell him she is pregnant. In the meantime, Edina and Patsy have organised a book club, but no one is interested in reading any books except celebrity magazines.

Edina builds a panic room. Patsy is at her shop, Jeremy's, when Minnie Driver enters. Patsy, determined to become Minnie's stylist, invites Minnie to Edina's, where she has gathered racks of designer outfits with which to dress Minnie. When Minnie wants a necklace that Edina is wearing, Patsy and Edina fight for it, and accidentally lock themselves in the panic room.

Edina begins an ad campaign for Prince Charles' biscuits, and claims that it is 'by royal appointment'. She begins to associate with the wealthy socialite crowd, and buys a weekend at a country house hotel. Meanwhile, Emma and Sarah bring gifts for Saffy's baby shower, and Sarah becomes obsessed with Emma.

Saffy is preparing her home birth kit, as she's due anytime. Meanwhile, Patsy is the hostess of the Style Awards at the Royal Albert Hall. Edina helps Patsy rehearse her speech but is interrupted by Katy, Bo and Marshall.

Edina's 'new' boyfriend Pete is a tape engineer who used to work at Abbey Road during the time that the Beatles recorded there, and who had found some unreleased tapes. In a studio, the girls have fun and Edina sings her 'walking down the road' song she loves.

Patsy has booked Saffy's baby Jane (Lola) for a photo shoot with Jean-Paul Gaultier. Gran usually babysits Jane on Thursdays, so that Saffy can go out with John. But Gran has not come round, as Edina has banned her from the house. Saffy and John are stuck at home, and Patsy cannot take the baby to the shoot.

Edina collects Saffy from prison, where she served two years for (unknowingly) providing asylum seekers with forged passports. Saffy later invites former cellmate Baron to the house, unaware that Baron was once Patsy's drug dealer and Patsy still owes her £50,000. And now Baron refuses to leave until she's repaid.

When Saffy berates Edina for being lazy and incompetent, Edina and Patsy decide to impress her by booking her favourite French film star, Jeanne Durand, to perform at the Royal Albert Hall. However, they're dismayed when Jeanne lip-syncs instead of singing live.

Edina decides to rent out her house to Michael Douglas during the Summer Olympics, hoping it will lead to prestigious A-list parties, even though Patsy—who now needs incontinence pants—no longer shares Edina's penchant for partying.